


Home is Where Your Commander Is

by gonnaflynow



Series: Eruri Week 2013 [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Study, Eruri Week, M/M, and love too but they can't voice it, augh my feelings, eruri - Freeform, they really have a lot of respect for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 22:29:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gonnaflynow/pseuds/gonnaflynow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin and Levi find home in many different places, but always with each other.</p><p>Day Three – Home</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home is Where Your Commander Is

Levi never had a home to speak of. From his earliest days, he only knew the slums and the underground of Sina, a thin veneer of soot coating the memories. His only comforts were ill-gotten – a loaf of bread here, a threadbare wool blanket there – nothing he could ever call his own. Even when he was older, he was never allowed to settle in one place: the Military Police, inept though they were, were always on his tail, and Levi had to be ready to run at a moment's notice. He never knew the comforts of soup in front of a crackling fireplace, a mother's affection or a father's pride. 

Now in the Scouting Legion, Levi kept precious few possessions: a signet ring bearing an L found in a gutter of the underground city, a leather-bound notebook from Isabel and Farlan, and two extra cravats, but there was otherwise nothing to distinguish his room from that of any other soldier. Although he had now been moved to the more luxurious quarters afforded to a squad leader, they felt empty; his place was out in the field, not stuffed away in a box where he could do nothing but pine for the neverending expanses of grass and the rush of wind on his face as his blades tore through flesh.  

The castle definitely wasn't an easy thing to call home – nothing with that many leaks and drafts deserved the title, he decided – but the more time he spent around the headquarters the more it grew on him, the smallest spaces taking on special meaning as they were filled with memories that replayed every time he passed like clockwork.

Levi knew exactly who to thank.

\--------

Erwin Smith led a privileged lifestyle. Growing up as an only child in the upper-middle class district of Sina, there was not much he could ever think to want. His parents lavished attention on him, giving him the best education and upbringing they could afford. He spent his days among the sons and daughters of gaudily-decked aristocrats and lecherous advisors, the children more often than not inheriting the airs of their parents. 

Many asked why he joined the military. "You had a fine place waiting for you in society," they scoffed, "and you gave it up to become a titan meal, paid for by the government?" Erwin smiled and nodded, enduring their complaints and judgements without voicing any of his own. He saw what the privilege of Sina did to a man, and he was determined to fight its corruption with the hopeful ideology of the Scouting Legion. Erwin was hell-bent on changing the world, pushing its limits, and he was unwavering in his convictions – no amount of sweet talk would take back the outside world.

Even in the Recon Corps, Erwin was fortunate to have luck smiling upon him. His keen eye and sharp mind carried him through years of missions with nary a scratch to show for it – though the same could not be said for most of his friends. The higher officers made note of his potential, and he was quickly promoted to a team leader, and a squad leader thereafter. When Keith Shadis took his leave after the fall of Wall Maria and the disgraceful return of the Scouting Legion, Erwin seemed the natural replacement.

Now in his fourth year as Commander, Erwin had polished up the failing legion, rendering it almost unrecognizable from the mess he had been handed. Everything was going far better than anticipated: with the long-distance enemy formation he had developed, casualties dropped by more than 30%, and the military brass in the king's palace had been surprisingly loose with their funding as a result. They had even managed to capture a live titan with the assistance of the Special Operations squad, much to the delight of Squad Leader Hanji Zoe's ceaseless scientific enthusiasm. It finally felt like things were settling in, but despite the routine of military life, something had snuck its way into his heart, warming him from the inside and reassuring him that he was a person instead of just the heartless commander, a cog in the wheel. 

Erwin smiled and wondered when he had allowed that to happen.

\--------

As the light began to pierce insistently through the curtains, Erwin felt a telltale tug on his hand. The lance corporal loomed above him, eyes begging to please get your lazy ass out of bed so we can get on with the day, and as always, Erwin could never refuse him. He let himself be prodded out of bed, Levi going as far to walk to the opposite side to take his hand and lead the half-asleep commander directly into the shower. 

It used to be a thing of habit, a quick in-and-out to get rid of the blood and sweat, but his time with Levi had turned it into a shared ritual. Any time of day was now fair game – after a mission, after sex, or just after a particularly rough training session, Levi would faithfully drag him into his or Erwin's private bathroom, whichever was closer, by his bolo tie or gear straps or the collar of his shirt. They would efficiently disrobe (Levi harping if Erwin didn't fold his clothes) and climb into the steam, and the world disappeared. 

The men took turns washing each other off, lavishing attention and care on every inch of skin with hands and lips. More often than not, the touches turned into caresses and Levi found his lips on Erwin's, or perhaps it was the other way around, and all the shorter man had to say was that he was glad they were in the shower so they wouldn't have to clean up all over again. The water always added an extra kind of intimacy, the close slide of skin on skin intoxicating and unforgettable, leaving Erwin's blood running hot long after the tap had shut off.

Levi, he noted, seemed to enjoy a particular kind of soap, something infused with rose, jasmine, and a delicate scent he was later informed was lily of the valley, the very flowers that used to sprout in his backyard during springtime. Erwin later made the connection that this was the scent that always wafted off the man – part of the reason he had been attracted to him in the first place, among other things – and he couldn't help picking up its trace wherever he went. It gave him comfort that Levi's presence did not go forgotten, even hours after he had left, and it made his inevitable return even sweeter.

Erwin sometimes wondered if this tradition had evolved because Levi simply didn't trust him to keep clean on his own, but the commander swore he saw the tired lines melt from Levi's face the moment he touched the water, and this, if nothing else, seemed to give the man a moment of peace in the eternal fight that they both were waging. Erwin only felt pleased and humbled that he was allowed to share.

 -------- 

Levi walked into the mess hall to the scent of fresh baked bread. He wrinkled his nose in pleasant confusion, ambling over to the servery and contemplating the lunch spread. 

"I put in a word with the cooks this morning," murmured a voice, hot over the shell of his ear. Levi turned around to find Erwin with his hands on his hips, looking very pleased with himself.

"Thought this looked better than the usual crap," Levi nodded approvingly, grabbing a loaf of bread, a hunk of cheese, and an apple, and Erwin following suit. 

"I figured it wouldn't hurt to have a nice meal for a change," said Erwin, settling at an empty table near the windows, "especially with the next mission coming up so soon."

"Don't remind me," Levi groaned, sliding onto the bench across from Erwin. He picked up the loaf of bread, bending it slightly to listen to the shuddering crackle of crust. The corporal got to see this kind of bread solely on the rare occasions he accompanied Erwin to the castle in Sina: their bakers were the only ones who could get the taste and texture just right, not chewy or overdone but with a crisp outside and a soft finish. He tore off a chunk greedily before remembering he no longer had to fight for every scrap, that he was allowed to relish the taste and quality instead of stuffing it hurriedly in his mouth to safeguard against a second theft. As an afterthought, he added some of the cheese. The flavors that hit his palette were vibrant, much more so than anything he had eaten from the Scouting Legion kitchen in recent memory. He gave Erwin an appraising look out of the corner of his eye – the man was definitely up to something, though whatever it was he wasn't letting on.

Erwin, for his part, was trying to keep his impassive mask in place. The commander took a great deal of pride in his care of and responsibility for the health and happiness of his soldiers. They risked their lives for him in the name of progress for all of humanity, and he seized the opportunities to repay them for their service when they came about, no matter how small. Everyone from the new recruits to the old hands felt like family to him, and like the head of the household, the duty fell to him to keep up morale, even if the expense came from his own pocket.

What he wouldn't tell Levi, however, is this particular lunch was much more for him than the rest of the troops, simply because Erwin enjoyed surprising the other man. He couldn't keep down a light flush as Levi looked him over. Seemingly finding the information he was after, the corporal gave a nod and a small smile. Erwin returned the gesture and affectionately rubbed at the inside of Levi's ankle with his boot.

They spent the next hour locked in conversation, oblivious to everything around them.

\--------

Both Levi and Erwin's harsh breathing resounded throughout the bedroom as they came down from their peak, Levi promptly collapsing on top of the larger man as soon as he dismounted himself.

"Why do I feel like this when I'm with you?" Levi sighed, burrowing into Erwin's broad chest.

Erwin chuckled and pulled him closer, kissing the smaller man's forehead. "Feel like what?" He could feel the face Levi was making against his skin.

"All… content. But it's a weird sort of content, like I'd be happy staying the same for the rest of my life." He sniffed quietly. "I don't know if I like it."

"I like being with you," Erwin said quietly, carding a hand through Levi's soft black hair, "and I think I'd like staying together. Maybe a little of the same thing wouldn't be bad."

Levi stilled, frowning. Thoughts like this were dangerous for men like them. Soldiers of the Scouting Legion didn't have the luxury of time or stasis, and if he was honest with himself, he probably shouldn't have allowed himself to give into his affections… it was only going to make it harder for them to move on when death inevitably ripped one from the other.

Erwin fell slack, reading his thoughts.

"I don't regret this, you know."

Levi's eyed widened a fraction, and he disentangled himself from Erwin's arms to stare into his shining blue eyes.

"I know it will be awful for us, in the end…" he trailed off, the piercing azure darkening into a dull sapphire. "But I think now that we've found each other, we should cling tightly with all our might, don't you?"

Levi's breath hitched, his hand finding Erwin's under the covers.

"You're not going anywhere, if I have anything to say about it." 

Erwin smiled softly, squeezing Levi's hand.

"I like the way you think."

**Author's Note:**

> This fic required a lot of research on the Scouting Legion, detail-obsessed fuck that I am. I wanted to make sure I got the rankings and the general feel correct, and I also guess I never made the connection that crazy recruit-trainer Keith was the commander of the Scouting Legion before Erwin??! That was really exciting to learn. I might have flailed around in my chair for ten minutes.


End file.
